Revising Cause-Effect Essays
After you've completed a first draft of your cause-effect essay, take a break before you begin revising. You need to see your work objectively, because when you revise, you make big improvements to your ideas, organization, and voice. These activities will help you revise.
Revising for Depth of Detail
Each middle paragraph should fully explain the specific cause or effect identified in the topic sentence. If a paragraph lacks support, you need to add details to the paragraph.
Check depth of detail.
Briefly list the supporting details in each of your middle paragraphs. Do any paragraphs lack the level of detail of the others? If so, add supporting details, such as facts, reasons, and examples.
Middle Paragraph 1
Middle Paragraph 2
Middle Paragraph 3
Middle Paragraph 4
Teaching Tip
Use this lesson to help students deepen their explanations. Additional research may be needed to discover new details.
Revising for Focus
You can revise paragraphs for focus by developing one main idea and cutting unrelated details.
Unfocused paragraph (includes too many ideas and unrelated details)
One major cause of erosion is water. Over time, rainfall splashes against rock, causing it to wear away. Strong wind is another major cause of erosion. Crashing waves produce a similar impact. Huge waves can be dangerous for swimming. Lastly, powerful floods lead to rapid erosion.
Revised paragraph (one main idea developed in detail)
One major cause of erosion is water. Over time, rainfall splashes against rock, causing it to wear away. Crashing waves produce a similar impact. Lastly, powerful floods lead to rapid erosion.
Revise for focus.
The following paragraph lacks focus. Rewrite the paragraph by focusing on one main idea. Make sure to cut any unnecessary details.
Many conditions must occur for a tornado to form. Tornadoes are scary. First, thunderstorm clouds must be present. Next, warm air from the ground must collide with cold air in the sky. This causes the air to swirl. Water swirls during tsunamis. When enough warm air pushes against cold, the swirling air tips over and forms a funnel. The funnel becomes a tornado once it touches the ground. Tornadoes can be very destructive.
Revising with a Peer Response
Share your writing.
Have a trusted classmate read your essay and complete the form.
Revising in Action
When you revise, you add, delete, rewrite, and rearrange your writing to make it clearer. Here are some revisions to “Effects of the New Lunch Program.”
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Before Revisions
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A new example and a deleted detail improve support and focus.
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After Revisions
Revise with a checklist.
Read each line. When you can answer each question with a yes, check it off.
Ideas
- Do I have an interesting topic with clear causes and effects?
- Are my focus statement and topic sentences clear?
- Do I focus my ideas and include a depth of detail?
Organization
- Does the beginning catch the reader’s interest and lead to the focus statement?
- Have I organized the middle in a cause-focused or effect-focused fashion?
- Do cause-effect transitions connect my ideas?
- Does the ending effectively wrap up my cause-effect explanation?
Voice
- Do I sound knowledgeable about my subject?
- Is my voice appropriate to the topic and audience?
Word Choice
- Do I use specific nouns and active verbs?
- Have I cut any wordiness?
Sentence Fluency
- Do I have a variety of sentence lengths and beginnings?
- Do my sentences read smoothly?