Revising from General to Specific

Your writing will sound more knowledgeable and interesting if you replace general ideas with specific facts that your readers might not already know.

• General idea: Whales are really long.

• Specific fact: Whales can grow up to 115 feet long.

• General idea: Dolphins and whales use sounds.

• Specific fact: Dolphins and whales use echolocation sounds to communicate and warn of danger.

1. Penguins use their black and white color as camouflage. Penguins use their black and white color as camouflage.
2. Penguins are great swimmers and can move quickly in the water. Penguins are great swimmers and can move quickly in the water.
3. The Gentoo Penguin can swim at speeds of 22 miles per hour. The Gentoo Penguin can swim at speeds of 22 miles per hour.
4. All penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere. All penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The first sentence in your essay should grab the reader’s attention. It is called a “lead.” The following activity will help you write an effective lead sentence.

1. Explain why the subject matters:

Dolphins and whales are among the most majestic creatures on earth.

2. Provide a surprising fact:

Two of the smartest animals on earth live in the ocean.

3. Ask a question:

Did you know dolphins and whales come from the same biological family?

Your beginning paragraph should end with a focus statement. The focus statement names the two subjects and starts to compare and contrast them.

Prewriting to Select a Topic

Reading a Comparison-Contrast Paragraph and Essay

This lesson lets you discover how another student analyzed two topics in a comparison-contrast paragraph and essay.

Reading a Comparison-Contrast Paragraph

A comparison-contrast paragraph has three main parts. The topic sentence introduces two subjects and says something about them. The body sentences give details about how the two subjects are alike and different. The ending sentence sums up how the subjects are the same or different.

Sample Paragraph

1. Does the reading mostly focus on the way the two bikes are the same or different?
2. Name three ways the bikes differ.

Warm-Up for Comparison-Contrast Essays

Explanatory essays share information about a topic. One way to explain two topics that interest you is to write a comparison-contrast essay.

Revising for Paragraph Unity

Focusing on one idea in a paragraph is called unity. For example, the sentences in each paragraph in your essay should focus on the category mentioned in the paragraph’s topic sentence. A paragraph lacks unity when it includes ideas that do not relate to its topic sentence. In the example paragraph below, the topic sentence is in bold type, and an unrelated idea is deleted.

1. Poison ivy is an enemy of campers and other nature lovers. It contains an oil that irritates the skin. The oil gets onto the skin when the plant’s leaf is crushed. Walking through or on top of poison ivy can release the oil. You can easily recognize poison ivy because it usually grows as a vine and has compound leaves made up of three leaflets each. Poison sumac is also a problem for campers. Poison ivy is an enemy of campers and other nature lovers. It contains an oil that irritates the skin. The oil gets onto the skin when the plant’s leaf is crushed. Walking through or on top of poison ivy can release the oil. You can easily recognize poison ivy because it usually grows as a vine and has compound leaves made up of three leaflets each. Poison sumac is also a problem for campers.

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The beginning of your classification essay should introduce your topic with some interesting background information and then give your focus statement.

Lead Sentence

We humans have created devices, such as camouflage-patterned military fatigues and pepper spray, to protect ourselves in dangerous situations.

Detail Sentences

Have you ever wondered where we got the ideas for these tools? They may have come from examples set by other members of the animal kingdom. Animals face many dangers in their environments, and they have some unusual and inspired methods of defense.

Focus Statement

Three ways in which animals protect themselves are by changing colors, releasing chemicals, and giving up a body part.

Writing the Middle Paragraphs

Prewriting to Focus Your Ideas

What Interests Me

Prewriting to Select a Topic

You should be able to break down the subject of your essay into three or four parts or categories that can be explained in separate paragraphs. A subject that is too broad may include too many categories or categories that are difficult to explain. A subject that is too narrow will not have enough categories.

1. How did the writer break down the parts of the suit of armor?
2. What context clues can you use to figure out the meaning of unfamiliar words like gorget and brassards?
3. Given that many of the unfamiliar words were French, what can you infer about medieval England based on other words with French roots: government, soldier, legal, and bank?