Editing for Comma Splices

A comma splice is a sentence error that happens when you join (splice) two sentences using a comma. A comma alone is not strong enough to join two sentences. You can correct the error in one of three ways: (1) replacing the comma with end punctuation, (2) replacing the comma with a semicolon, or (3) adding a coordinating conjunction after the comma.

1. Mars shines with red and orange light, it is often called the Red Planet.
2. The Romans named Mars after their god of war, its red color reminded them of blood and war.
3. Mars is only one-half the size of Earth, the Red Planet actually has more moons than Earth.
4. Someday, astronauts will go to Mars, they will live on the planet for a while and check for signs of life.
5. Mars is much colder than Earth, the astronauts will need food and heated suits.

Editing the Punctuation of Titles

Different types of titles need different types of punctuation. Titles of shorter pieces of writing—such as short stories, articles, and poems—should be placed in quotation marks. Titles of longer pieces—such as books and magazines—should be italicized. Can you recognize the difference in these examples?

Revising to Replace General Details

If parts of your writing sound uninteresting, they may contain too many general words and details. Revise those parts by including more specific words and details. The specific details could come from the work itself or your own thinking. For example, instead of stating something is "good" or "interesting" provide details about why it is good or interesting.

• General words: After a bit, Superman got really popular.
• Specific words: After a few months, Superman's popularity erupted.

• General detail: He imagined having superpowers would finally get the attention of the girls in his class.
• Specific detail: He imagined having the power to jump over tall buildings would finally get the attention of the girls in his class.

1. Find at least two general words (good, interesting, boring) and replace them with specific words. (Ask a partner or look in a thesaurus for help.)
2. Find one general detail about the book or article, and replace it with a specific detail from the work. (Consider replacing it with something a person said or did.)

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

Your beginning paragraph should start with a lead sentence, which gets the reader interested in the book. In the next sentence or two, you should identify the title and author of the book. In the last sentence, you should state the focus or the main idea of the book.

1. Ask a question related to the work.

Have you ever wondered where superheroes come from?

2. Talk directly to your readers about the work.

It’s not every day that you learn how a superhero was born. But when you read “Superman Takes Off” by Stephen Krenzky, you sure do!

3. Introduce an interesting or suspenseful detail from the work.

One day, sometime during the Middle Ages, valuable jewels disappear from the Royal Treasury.

4. Share a feeling you have about the work.

Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World is an exciting book by Jennifer Armstrong.

The article tells about how Superman made his debut and why he, literally, took off.

Assessing with an Explanatory Rubric

Test graders will use a rubric to judge the quality of your writing for assessment. By using the following rubric to judge your own writing, you can become aware of what testers are looking for and can improve your scores in the future.

Writing an Essay for Assessment

Some tests ask you to write an essay response to articles you have closely read. The following activity will help you practice.

1. Read the writing prompt.

Imagine that your teacher has assigned you to write an explanatory essay about the lives of monarch butterflies. You will be using the sources in this unit. Focus your thinking about monarch butterflies and create an essay. Include details from the sources to support your ideas.

2. Answer the PAST questions.

Purpose?

Audience?

Subject?

Type?

Writing a Paragraph for Assessment

Some tests ask you to write a paragraph in response to sources you have read or viewed. The following activity will help you practice responding.

1. Read the writing prompt.

You have just read three articles and watched a video about monarch butterflies. Write a paragraph that explains how the additional sources expand your understanding from Source 1. Include at least two examples, naming the title and author of each source that you use.

2. Answer the PAST questions.

Purpose?

Audience?

Subject?

Type?

Revising to Elaborate Details

To explain something, you need to elaborate. When you elaborate, you use different types of details to explain an idea.

Step 2: Get a cage

Next, you need to get a cage for your hamster.

Detail 1: Metal cages

Metal cages let the air flow through.

Detail 2: Plastic cages

Plastic cages can have all kinds of tubes for exercise.

Detail 3: Cage features

You need a water bottle, food dish, and wheel for running.

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

Lead Sentence

Detail Sentences

Focus Statement

Prewriting to Focus Your Ideas

1. List three things that you know how to do really well.
2. Which of these three processes would you like to explain in an essay?
3. What tools and materials do you need for this process?
4. What steps would you list for doing this process?
5. What special thought or feeling do you have about this process?