Revising Essays
Once you draft your essay, take a break and come back to it to see it freshly. When you revise, you make sure your big ideas are separated into different paragraphs and enough details explain each idea. These activities will help you revise.
Revising to Find Paragraphs
If your writing goes on and on without paragraphs, it can be hard to read. When this happens, you need to separate the writing into paragraphs. Use this three-step process:
- Label the first word with a paragraph sign (¶).
- Name the main idea in the first paragraph.
- Find the first sentence not about this idea and label it. Start a new paragraph.
- Repeat steps 1-3 as you move through your essay.
Watch the video "Finding Paragraphs"
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Mark the paragraphs.
Carefully read this part of an essay. The first new paragraph is marked for you. Mark the next new paragraphs and repeat the three-step process.
We have had many great presidents. They have led our country when we were in wars or when people really needed help. Many third graders in Waller School picked Abraham Lincoln as the best president. ¶Twenty-four third graders in our school answered two questions. Who is the best president? Why? Mr. Hayes collected and posted the results. Fifteen students picked Abraham Lincoln as our best president. Twelve of these students picked him because he freed the slaves. Three students said he was a great leader during the Civil War. Six students picked George Washington as our best president. Five of these students picked Washington because he was our first president. One student thought he was great because he fought for our freedom. Three students picked President Obama. Two students said he is our first African-American president. One student said he helped our country get a better economy.
We have had many great presidents. They have led our country when we were in wars or when people really needed help. Many third graders in Waller School picked Abraham Lincoln as the best president. ¶Twenty-four third graders in our school answered two questions. Who is the best president? Why? Mr. Hayes collected and posted the results. ¶Fifteen students picked Abraham Lincoln as our best president. Twelve of these students picked him because he freed the slaves. Three students said he was a great leader during the Civil War. ¶Six students picked George Washington as our best president. Five of these students picked Washington because he was our first president. One student thought he was great because he fought for our freedom. ¶Three students picked President Obama. Two students said he is our first African-American president. One student said he helped our country get a better economy.
Teaching Tip
Consider working on this activity as a class. Ask for volunteers to read the text.
Check your essay.
Be sure that you have started a new paragraph for each new idea in your essay. (You can combine some ideas if they are really short.)
Revising to Add Details
Details help explain a main idea. When writing lacks detail, it may seem incomplete. The details for your essay are included in the answers to the poll question and the reasons for the answers.
Sometimes, it helps to add a detail of your own to emphasize a point or add information. In the following paragraph, the writer added his own detail (in italics).
Main Idea Thirteen third graders like whales the best. Seven students like them because they are so big. One student says that the blue whale is the heaviest mammal ever. Details Five students like whales because they leap out of the water, and one student likes them because they can dive so deep.
Add a detail.
Complete this activity to add a new detail in one of your paragraphs.
- Write down the main idea or topic sentence for one middle paragraph.
- Write down the first detail in this paragraph.
- Write down the second detail.
- Write down the third detail (if there is one).
- Add a sentence that tells more about one of the details. (This sentence should emphasize a point or add information.)
Teaching Tip
You may want to model this activity for students. Also, after students complete their work, encourage them to look at other paragraphs in their essay for opportunities to add a detail.
Revising with a Peer Response
Share your writing.
Have a trusted classmate read your essay and complete the form.
Teaching Tip
Consider modeling the responding process for students before they try it on their own.
Revising in Action
Revising is adding, cutting, and rewriting ideas to improve your writing. Here are revisions in one part of “Mammals in the Deep Ocean.”
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Paragraph Before Revisions
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More details were added and a deletion was made.
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Paragraph After Revisions
Revise with a checklist.
Revise your first draft using this checklist as a guide.
Developing Your Ideas
- Do I name the topic of the poll question?
- Do I include the results of the answers (numbers and reasons)?
- Do I add any details that emphasize an idea (optional)?
Structuring Your Ideas
- Does the first sentence get the reader’s interest?
- Does the beginning paragraph end with the focus statement?
- Do I include separate paragraphs for the background information and different answers?
- Do I include an ending paragraph to wrap up the essay?