Editing for Comma Splices

A comma splice is a sentence error that happens when you join (splice) two sentences using a comma. A comma alone is not strong enough to join two sentences. You can correct the error in one of three ways: (1) replacing the comma with end punctuation, (2) replacing the comma with a semicolon, or (3) adding a coordinating conjunction after the comma.

1. Mars shines with red and orange light, it is often called the Red Planet.
2. The Romans named Mars after their god of war, its red color reminded them of blood and war.
3. Mars is only one-half the size of Earth, the Red Planet actually has more moons than Earth.
4. Someday, astronauts will go to Mars, they will live on the planet for a while and check for signs of life.
5. Mars is much colder than Earth, the astronauts will need food and heated suits.

Editing the Punctuation of Titles

Different types of titles need different types of punctuation. Titles of shorter pieces of writing—such as short stories, articles, and poems—should be placed in quotation marks. Titles of longer pieces—such as books and magazines—should be italicized. Can you recognize the difference in these examples?

Revising to Replace General Details

If parts of your writing sound uninteresting, they may contain too many general words and details. Revise those parts by including more specific words and details. The specific details could come from the work itself or your own thinking. For example, instead of stating something is "good" or "interesting" provide details about why it is good or interesting.

• General words: After a bit, Superman got really popular.
• Specific words: After a few months, Superman's popularity erupted.

• General detail: He imagined having superpowers would finally get the attention of the girls in his class.
• Specific detail: He imagined having the power to jump over tall buildings would finally get the attention of the girls in his class.

1. Find at least two general words (good, interesting, boring) and replace them with specific words. (Ask a partner or look in a thesaurus for help.)
2. Find one general detail about the book or article, and replace it with a specific detail from the work. (Consider replacing it with something a person said or did.)

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

Your beginning paragraph should start with a lead sentence, which gets the reader interested in the book. In the next sentence or two, you should identify the title and author of the book. In the last sentence, you should state the focus or the main idea of the book.

1. Ask a question related to the work.

Have you ever wondered where superheroes come from?

2. Talk directly to your readers about the work.

It’s not every day that you learn how a superhero was born. But when you read “Superman Takes Off” by Stephen Krenzky, you sure do!

3. Introduce an interesting or suspenseful detail from the work.

One day, sometime during the Middle Ages, valuable jewels disappear from the Royal Treasury.

4. Share a feeling you have about the work.

Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World is an exciting book by Jennifer Armstrong.

The article tells about how Superman made his debut and why he, literally, took off.

Editing for Present Tense

Writing verbs in the present tense will make your review more lively. The present tense shows that something is happening now or happens regularly. Even though you read the book in the past, you can describe things that happened in the book in the present tense.

1. Something bad (happenshappens, happened) to the main character.
2. Shiloh (cowered, cowerscowers) around people.
3. Marty and his family (livelive, lived) in West Virginia.
4. When Shiloh (ran, runsruns) away, Marty (built, buildsbuilds) him a cage.

Revising to Add Sensory Details

To help your story come alive, you can add details about what you saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched. These are called sensory details.

Sensory details help you show readers what is happening, rather than just telling them. You can collect these details in a sensory chart.

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The first sentence in your narrative should grab the reader’s attention. It is called a lead. The following strategies will help you write an effective lead.

1. Start in the middle of the action:

   I thought I was ready when I arrived at our school’s auditorium.

2. Start with dialogue:

   “Just wait a little longer,” said my grandpa.

3. Start with an interesting fact or statement:

   When Manny came to my school, I didn’t expect to become best friends.

Lead:

Introductory Details: