Editing College-Entrance Essays
If you were interviewing with a college-entrance officer, you wouldn't want your clothes to be rumpled and stained, your hair to be standing on end, and a bit of something to be hanging between your teeth. No, you'd use a mirror, a brush, a toothbrush, an iron—whatever it takes to make a good impression. In the same way, you want your college-entrance essay to be free of distracting and embarrassing errors before you submit it. These activities will help.
Editing to Fix Sentence Shifts
For the most part, you should stick to a specific tense (past or present) and a specific person (first or third) in your essay. Unnecessary shifts can be distracting or even confusing:
Shifting Tense and Person
Now, I had a choice. I can quit and rappel to the rocks below or keep climbing and reach the top. My friend Big Jake, who'd caught me in my trust fall on Day One, is at the bottom of the cliff as my anchor. Karl and Josiah were climbing next to me. Counselor Jones waits at the summit. The climber looked for handholds and footholds in stone, pauses to set a carabiner and thread a safety line, grabs a shoulder of rock, and pulls himself higher. Then I squeezed the brake and sat in the harness, trusting Big Jake with my weight while Karl and Josiah rose beside me. The three climbers nod. No reason to talk. All of them had plenty of work ahead. With muscle and grit and courage, we head to the top.
Consistent Tense and Person
Now, I had a choice. I could quit and rappel to the rocks below, or I could keep climbing and reach the top. My friend Big Jake, who'd caught me in my trust fall on Day One, was at the bottom of the cliff as my anchor. Karl and Josiah were climbing next to me. Counselor Jones waited at the summit. I looked for handholds and footholds in stone, paused to set a carabiner and thread a safety line, grabbed a shoulder of rock, and pulled myself higher. Then I squeezed the brake and sat in the harness, trusting Big Jake with my weight while Karl and Josiah rose beside me. We nodded. No reason to talk. All of us had plenty of work ahead. With muscle and grit and courage, we would get to the top.
You can intentionally shift tense or person if you have a good reason for doing so. In the following example, the writer begins in third person (one) to make a universal point and then shifts to first person (I) to make a particular point.
Hanging from a half-inch rope halfway up a 500-foot cliff makes one reflect on the meaning of life. "Why am I here?"
In the next example, the writer intentionally shifts between what he is doing in the present and what he will do in the future.
I want to help people in free-fall find that safety line and learn to climb. In college, I'll be heading for the top, just like I have done in high school, and I'll be helping those around me do so, as well.
Fix sentence shifts.
Edit each sentence below to make it consistently past tense and first person. Then review your essay, correcting unnecessary sentence shifts. (Do not change purposeful shifts.)
- First, they teach a person that no one takes you seriously until one takes oneself seriously.
- At first, one thinks it was a waste of time to learn all this stuff I never use in real life.
- But not learning it leaves one cold and hungry and wet, so I dig in and learn.
- Surprisingly, I can do it, all of it. One gains a new confidence.
- When I realize I can help others and even teach them, one starts to connect.
Editing for Correct Capitalization
Of course you know that the first word of a sentence and any proper nouns in a sentence should be capitalized, but you might be a bit unclear about what college terms are proper nouns. For example, the specific names of college schools, departments, and classes are proper nouns, but general courses of study are not:
I am applying to the University of Wisconsin-Madison School of Environmental Science in the hopes of earning a bachelor's degree before going on to master's work. I'm especially interested in the class Environmentalism and Public Policy because I would like to work with lawmakers to improve environmental regulation.
If a person's title precedes the person's name, capitalize the title. If the title follows the person's name, it should not be capitalized. (To avoid offense, it's best to make the title precede the person's name.)
During my campus tour, I was delighted to meet Dean Williamson, who encouraged my interest in environmental science.
During my campus tour, I was delighted to meet Dr. Williamson, dean of the School of Environmental Science.
Teaching Tip
Point out to students that bachelor's and master's degrees are spelled with an apostrophe. They are not capitalized unless they refer to a specific degree: Bachelor's of Science in Environmental Studies. Also point out the peculiar treatment of the abbreviation for doctoral degrees: PhD. This abbreviation should follow a name (Martin Freehold, PhD), but before the name should appear as Dr. (Dr. Martin Freehold).
Check your essay for correct capitalization.
Review the capitalization in your work, making sure that proper nouns are capitalized and titles before names are capitalized. Avoid capitalizing words just because they seem important. (For example, do not capitalize transcript or campus.)
Editing in Action
After you check your college-entrance essay for unnecessary sentence shifts and errors in capitalization, you should also make sure your work has correct punctuation, spelling, usage, and grammar. Keep editing until your essay is error free.
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Paragraph Before Edits
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A shift in person is fixed and capitalization, spelling, and usage are corrected.
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Paragraph After Edits
Edit with a checklist.
Use the following checklist to edit your college-entrance essay. When you can answer a question with a yes, check it off. Continue editing until each line is checked.
Sentences
- Do sentences read smoothly, without unnecessary shifts in tense or person?
- Are sentences correct, without run-ons, comma splices, or fragments?
Punctuation
- Do commas appear before coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet) in compound sentences?
- Do commas follow introductory clauses and longer introductory phrases (four words or more)?
- Does correct end punctuation follow each sentence?
Mechanics
- Are proper nouns and the first words in sentences capitalized?
- Are specific names of schools, departments, offices, and courses capitalized?
- Are general courses of study (such as physics or pre-law) left lowercased?
- Are specific titles capitalized before the proper noun?
- Have I checked spellings of the names of all people, buildings, and departments at the school?
- Have I checked spelling using a dictionary or the spell checker on my computer?
Grammar
- Do subjects and verbs agree in number?
- Do pronouns and antecedents agree in number, person, and gender?
Usage
- Have I checked the usage of college-specific terms (such as alumni and alumnus)?
- Are commonly confused words used correctly (your/you’re, their/they’re, its/it’s)?
Submitting Your College-Entrance Essay
You'll want to make certain everything is correct before you submit your essay. Know that when you press "Submit," your work will be published for the eyes of those who will decide whether to admit you or not to the institution.
Publishing a Final Copy
Paste in the final version of your college-entrance essay.
Include your revising and editing changes and read over your work a final time. Spell-check your essay. After pasting the essay into the online application, carefully proofread it one final time to make sure no strange code has traveled along and you haven't dropped any copy.
Reflecting on Your Writing
Reflect on your writing.
Complete the following sheet to reflect on writing a college-entrance essay.
