Revising Opinion Essays
Once you finish a first draft of your opinion essay, set it aside for awhile. When you return to it, you can see it anew. That's what revising means—seeing your work with new eyes. When you revise, you look at your essay from your reader's perspective to make sure your writing includes compelling details and flows smoothly. These activities will help you revise.
Revising to Make Concessions
It is important that you remain fair in an opinion essay. This means that you must consider all the issues and other opinions related to your topic. If you concede some of the issues on “the other side,” you can actually strengthen your own opinion.
The second paragraph in “Car Problems” fairly concedes that cars are important in modern life. But the writer also says that they are still a problem. Sometimes, a concession will begin with a transition such as these: it is true that, admittedly, even though, or I agree that . . .
Evaluate concessions.
Review these concession paragraphs and decide if the writer remains fair in discussing opposing ideas. Also underline the transition that introduces the concession, if one is used.
It is true that many older adults are uncomfortable with new technology. They have spent most of their lives without laptops and smart phones, and it is hard for them to learn how to use them. But we should still make every attempt to become a paperless society.
It is true that many older adults are uncomfortable with new technology. They have spent most of their lives without laptops and smart phones, and it is hard for them to learn how to use them. But we should still make every attempt to become a paperless society.
It is so unfair that all the parents or guardians don’t attend the music programs. We work so hard that there should be no empty seats in the auditorium. Parents and guardians should be there! No excuses.
I understand why some people grow their own food. It saves them money, but it doesn’t work for me. I would prefer to go to the store and pick up what I want to eat. That’s why we have stores.
Check your essay.
If you have a concession paragraph in your essay, review it for fairness.
Teaching Tip
As a special challenge, ask advanced students to rewrite an unfair concession paragraph to make it fair. Ask them to explain the changes they made to make the paragraph fair.
Revising to Use Transitions
Transitions help you connect the ideas in your writing. They also help the reader understand what ideas are the most important and how they fit together. You can use transitions to connect the paragraphs in your essay, and you can use them to connect the sentences within each paragraph.
Add transitions to an essay.
Insert three of these transitions into the middle part of the following opinion essay: first of all, because, consequently, in addition, lastly.
cars have come to rule our lives. We need cars to have jobs, and we need jobs to have cars. It may be hard to believe, but a new car is put on the road every second. With so many cars on the roads, we need more and more roads. In fact, half of the land in our cities is for roads, and having so many roads takes away from areas that could be used for homes and parks.
cars have become a great source of pollution. The average car gives off five tons of carbon dioxide every year, and carbon dioxide is a major cause of polluted air. With so many more cars, pollution will continue to increase. The exhaust from cars also adds to the problem of smog. It is true that cars have reduced their emissions, but they still pollute.
cars are the leading cause of death and serious injury. Around the world, cars kill a quarter of a million people every year and injure millions of others. With more cars, there will be more chances for serious accidents to occur. Road rage and drunk driving makes the roads less safe, too. These conditions can make driving small cars really dangerous.
Check for transitions.
Review your first draft for transitions. Add them if needed.
Revising with a Peer Response
Share your writing.
Have a partner read your essay and then respond to it by completing this form. A responder should try to list at least one strong point for each part and, if at all possible, one thing to improve.
Revising in Action
When you revise, you add, take out, rewrite, and rearrange your writing to make it clearer. Here are revisions to one student’s essay.
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Paragraph Before Revisions
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Transitions and a concession were added.
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Paragraph After Revisions
Revise with a checklist.
Read each line in the checklist. When you can answer each question with a yes, check it off.
Developing Your Ideas
- Does my opinion deal with an important topic?
- Is my opinion clearly developed with strong reasons?
- Do details (facts, examples, explanations, . . .) explain the reasons?
- Do I sound sincere and interested in the topic?
Structuring Your Ideas
- Does the lead sentence gain the reader’s interest?
- Does the beginning paragraph state my opinion clearly?
- Do the middle paragraphs follow order of importance?
- Do transition words connect my ideas effectively?