Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The beginning paragraph of your essay is very important. It should get the reader interested in your topic, and it should state your opinion. To gain your reader’s interest, share some important background information, ask a question, begin with a quotation, or start with a surprising statement.

Beginning Paragraph

Editing to Vary Sentence Beginnings

The most basic sentence starts with a subject and tells what happens to it:

Notice how plain the sentence is? One way to make sentences more interesting is to vary their beginnings. For example, you can begin a sentence with a word, phrase, or clause.

Word

Frightened, the woman ran across the street.

Phrase

Without pausing, the woman ran across the street.

Clause

Because she was frightened, the woman ran across the street.

1. Our school auditorium is too small, dark, and unpleasant. The auditorium leaks when it rains. The chairs are uncomfortable. People don’t enjoy coming to our concerts. More people might come if the auditorium were bright, clean, and comfortable. Students would enjoy performing more. It is clear we should build a new auditorium.
2. The kids in our neighborhood are often bored, and they need a safe place to hang out. They go to the fast-food restaurant on the corner after school. They spend time at the mall on weekends, but these places are not always open. These places don’t provide interesting, constructive activities. It would be a good idea to open a sports and recreation center in the neighborhood.

Revising to Answer Objections

Believe it or not, one of the most powerful ways to support your opinion is to consider the ideas of people who disagree. When you mention an opposing viewpoint, you show your reader that you have already thought about objections against your opinion. You also get the opportunity to handle the objection in one of three ways:

• Refuting the objection means showing how the opposing idea is incorrect.

  Some people say that students who have to share instruments learn patience and cooperation. Unfortunately in the past, students who share instruments have only learned that band is not for them and have dropped out.

• Addressing the objection means recognizing it is valid but has some limitations.

  Many people have suggested a fund-raiser to make money for new instruments. Though fund-raisers can be helpful, the cost of new instruments means a lot of effort to buy only a few instruments.

• Conceding the objection means saying it is a good point while at the same time stressing the importance of your position.

  Yes, every student would prefer to play a new instrument. That's true. But a used instrument is better than nothing, which is what many students currently have.

Objection 1:

Answer 1 (Refute, Address, or Concede):

Objection 2:

Answer 2 (Refute, Address, or Concede):

Objection 3:

Answer 3 (Refute, Address, or Concede):

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The first sentence is called the lead. It should capture your reader’s attention, introducing the cause in an interesting way.

1. Ask a provocative question about the topic.

   What does a trumpet player sound like without a trumpet?

2. Start with a surprising fact or detail about the topic.

   The trumpet section of our band has ten players but only six trumpets.

3. Tell a little story about the topic.

   The first time I played my trumpet in concert, I realized I had made a friend for life.

Editing Compound Sentences

Simple sentences have just one complete thought.

What if you combined them? A compound sentence joins simple sentences using a comma and and, or, but, for, nor, or so.

1. I like helping my mom cook. It's fun to taste our creations. (and)
2. We were going to go sledding. There was not enough snow. (but)
3. Special Challenge: Find two simple sentences from your essay. Add a comma and the word and, but, or or to combine the two sentences.

Revising from General to Specific

Your writing will sound more knowledgeable and interesting if you replace general ideas with specific facts that your readers might not already know.

• General idea: Whales are really long.

• Specific fact: Whales can grow up to 115 feet long.

• General idea: Dolphins and whales use sounds.

• Specific fact: Dolphins and whales use echolocation sounds to communicate and warn of danger.

1. Penguins use their black and white color as camouflage. Penguins use their black and white color as camouflage.
2. Penguins are great swimmers and can move quickly in the water. Penguins are great swimmers and can move quickly in the water.
3. The Gentoo Penguin can swim at speeds of 22 miles per hour. The Gentoo Penguin can swim at speeds of 22 miles per hour.
4. All penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere. All penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.

Writing the Beginning Paragraph

The first sentence in your essay should grab the reader’s attention. It is called a “lead.” The following activity will help you write an effective lead sentence.

1. Explain why the subject matters:

Dolphins and whales are among the most majestic creatures on earth.

2. Provide a surprising fact:

Two of the smartest animals on earth live in the ocean.

3. Ask a question:

Did you know dolphins and whales come from the same biological family?

Your beginning paragraph should end with a focus statement. The focus statement names the two subjects and starts to compare and contrast them.

Prewriting to Select a Topic

Editing Possessives

In writing, possessives are used to show ownership. Read the following rules and examples about forming possessives.

• To form the possessive of a singular noun or an indefinite pronoun, add ’s. (Indefinite pronouns include one, anybody, nobody, somebody, anyone, no one, someone.)

• To form the possessive of most plural nouns (those that end in s), add only the apostrophe.

• To form the possessive of irregular plural nouns (those that do not end in s), add ’s.

1. Joes train has been delayed. Joe’s train has been delayed.
2. My books pages are stuck together. My book’s pages are stuck together.
3. The mens’ locker room is down the hall. The men’s locker room is down the hall.
4. The women basketball game lasted two hours. The women's basketball game lasted two hours.
5. I poured the cat food into Henry’s bowl. I poured the cat food into Henry’s bowl. (correct)
6. The party is at the Green’s house. The party is at the Greens’ house.
7. The outcome of the election is anybodys’ guess. The outcome of the election is anybody’s guess.
8. The closet was full of children’s toys. The closet was full of children’s toys. (correct)
9. The first baseman missed the coachs’ sign. The first baseman missed the coach’s sign.
10. Alisha met her friends at Janets’ house. Alisha met her friends at Janet’s house.